From Messiah's Handbook

Your oneness in love is reality. 

And mirages don't change reality.

Don't forget that. Whatever seems to be the case. 

The BIC Saga - Part 1 - Start of an affair...

The year was 2002. A young team was formed. 

Photo courtesy - http://iphotopick.com/user-group-icon-png-gallery/


We were huddled up in conference room 'Mars'. Our department head, affectionately called 'PS', wrote BIC (name of client) at the very top of white-board. He then turned around and did a quick sweep of the room while looking intensly at everyone with his trademark shrewd eyes. He was wearing his favorite blue shirt - which meant that day was to be start of something big. While all of us elbowed past each other, gathered a chair that was sufficiently distant from him and settled in the room, he started off, 'Welcome guys! You know we have managed to secure this challenging project from BIC .. blah blah blah.... and then some more blah blah blah'. Few minutes later, he was furiously drawing the project org-chart on the whiteboard and while mumbling 'OK.. so the overall execution will be led by YD...Architecture will be led by SV ... Technical teams will be divided into blah blah blah'. We - the curious group - were listening to him attentively. There was a feeling of excitement and nervousness in each of us.

At this point, our VP (affectionately called as 'Doc') walked into the room, took a look at the whiteboard, smiled and sighed - he felt assured that things have started moving. He and PS had eye contact for few seconds and then exchanged a nod. While this was happening we kids were still marveling the project org structure and beaming with smile to see our names on the whiteboard. Our names were at the very bottom of the chart .. meaning we were lowest in hierarchy :) But hell... at that time it didn't matter. The cause of happiness being that there was lot of hype around BIC and the word in the company was that the very best from our department will be put on that team - and now formally seeing our names made us proud.

After his non-verbal dialog with PS, Doc went on to tell us the significance of this project for the company 'We have sold licenses worth blah blah.. all eyes of the company are on you blah blah.... time to show what we are made of .. blah blah blah'. At the end he said 'Guys we need you to build a Taj Mahal in next 6 months' and everyone laughed. Of course our laughter was abruptly cut short when PS said 'But Doc.. do you remember that those whose built Taj Mahal were killed at the end'. And that's when only Doc and PS laughed while the rest of us shared a stoned silence. We quietly wondered what were we getting into :(

Now it was YD's turn to take the stage. He did not waste any time and addressed us, 'Guys... forget weekends.. we will be working 7 days a week. You cannot fall sick unless you have my permission. You cannot take off unless I permit - is that understood?'. YD was revered as the best task-master in the company. Everyone feared him - he commanded lot of respect from juniors, peers and seniors all alike. If there was some task to be done which no one thought could be done -YD was the guy to go to. You give him the team and he will make them slog, he would lead from the front and get the job done. He was a furious dictator. Even the senior members of our teams including the technical-leads shivered at the thought of interacting with YD. He acted bad for the greater good - something we did not immediately understand but the senior management of our company understood well. YD was known was his sharp wit, ruthless pragmatism and blunt responses. If you did not do what he expected, he would tear you apart with his words.  

The following four months were - to use a euphemism - mildly hectic for everyone (including YD). On two occasions we worked 36 hours straight because there was a demo scheduled for Suresh Antaryami (MD of BIC). The environment on the floor was always electric. A common sight was groups of developers rushing into conference room for design discussions - our technical architects surrounding SV's desk and picking his brain. The sheer energy of everyone in the team was contagious - there was never a dull moment, ever! Even the more senior members of our team often commented 'we have not worked on anything like this'. The project was under lot of spotlight (within our company and also from client) and that gave everyone the necessary motivation of doing things right, first time, every time. Defects were frowned upon. Everyone took the work rather personally to see that the code that rolls out from their desk is free of any defects. The entire culture breathed of perfection. We had taken Doc's word of 'building a taj mahal' very seriously and we worked round the clock towards it. If a module of code did not work, it would give us sleepless nights - things were that personal!

Every few hours YD would do his infamous floor-walk where in he would stop by our desks and politely ask 'hello, may I know what you are doing?' If the answer stretched more than 8 words he would interject and say 'aye boss.. I have not asked you to tell me a story.. I have just asked you what are you working on'. If someone tried to act smart with him, YD would show the person his place. He would also throw his weight around in various decisions by telling us 'mujhe mei common sense aapse bahut zyada hai so please do not argue and just do what I am asking... thank you very much'.

What I personally observed was that YD was correct almost every time - he also had good political foresight. Even though I was a developer back then, I had keen interest in project management and would closely observe how YD worked. Whenever I found him having some time at hand, I used to ask him questions about his decisions (the how, why, why not, what if kinds). Initially he would rebuff the questions. My colleagues would laugh at this sight and would later tell me 'why do you need to ask him.. lets just do our job', 'You know how he is... he doesn't like being questioned'. I persisted nonetheless and eventually managed to break some ice... details in subsequent posts.

Just a note about BIC  - It was an upcoming telecom company at that time time having its roots in petrochemicals and textiles. All eyes of the market were on BIC as they were launching their telecom services. There was lot of hype in the market about this venture. BIC is known not to spare any expenses for any new initiative and that normally translates into lot of vendors eyeing a big piece of the pie. 

The finished product was Order Entry system for BIC that was to be used across all its retail outlets across India. Our application had a small but very important role in this launch - it was the only application that allowed electronic capture of Customer Application Form - the form that you fill up while applying for a mobile service. It then processed it further and helped towards order fulfillment, provisioning, activation and billing.The project went LIVE almost close to the original target date and it then moved to support phase - business as usual. Most of the team was retained and asked to move onsite to BIC campus - famously known as BAKC.

Somewhere close to GO LIVE of our project, I was drafted to work on second assignment for BIC. It was another proud moment for me as for me it meant a validation of 'the best' tag. The second assignment was to be solely done out of BAKC campus.

Again, a young team was formed. One sunny morning we all huddled in a Toyota Qualis and enthusiastically started our journey towards Mumbai... an interesting phase of our lives awaited us!

to be continued...

I am GOD... And so are YOU!

Wait... what???

Yes... you read that correct!

Wait a minute... isn't that supercilious?

Well yeah I guess it might be...

Image courtesy: http://springtide.in/i-see-god/

Before you begin reading, I want to declare that as of this date, my understanding about any religion is extremely limited. Below are some thoughts from my vantage point.

My concept about god has been changing (some times I use the word 'evolving' instead of 'changing') as far back as my memory takes me. You, the reader of this post, may have your own concept/understanding of god or possibly you may not believe in it at all - and all that is completely fine with me.

As a child, the concept of god (as represented in Hindu Mythology) made it a appear to me as someone with super powers - some one who took care of good people and was a fierce warrior against the bad guys. Each representation of God had its own unique arsenal of weapons. I was fascinated by 'sudarshan chakra' of Lord Vishnu and always thought 'Man... it will be so cool to have one of my own'. I was fascinated by snakes and trishul of Lord Shiva. Gold Coins coming out of Goddess Laxmi hands made me very curious 'hmm... thats really cool too'. I was in awe of the Gada that Lord Hanuman carried and my favorite was the Bow and Arrow that Lord Ram had with him.

My understanding about god changed as I grew up - it varied from 'c'mon....there is no such thing' to 'hmm if they say that there is only one god then which of the 33 million representations do I worship?'. At times it also went 'may be its an energy that we do not understand yet' to 'religion and god is a conceptual framework to keep morality compass pointing in right direction - instilling sense of fear for right and wrong'. Honestly, even to this day, at times I jump from one viewpoint to the other - after all I am limited in my understanding just like anyone else.

Another thing which baffles me from time to time - we are taught that god resides in everything be it living or non-living. Hence by that understanding, there is some element of god in you as well as me. Since it sounds better, let me extrapolate and say:

I am GOD ... And so are YOU!

If I were to ask you to assume this statement to be true - ok let's do this - I want you to close your eyes and speak to yourself with full confidence, 'I am GOD' - what changes do you see happening in your mind at this very minute? Go ahead.. do it!

Does it bring in a feeling of superiority? Does it make you feel more in control of the environment around you? Does it make you feel you have a bigger responsibility? Does it make your stomach churn? Does it make you nervous? Does it occur to you that if you consider this to be true then it holds true for every other person that you know and even the ones you don't know? Personally, I experience some of these items, if not all.

Lets add another spice to this mix - we know there are multiple forms in which energy exists in this universe. For every good, there is also bad. For darkness, there is light. For jealousy, there is love. Hence by this correlation, if there is GOD, then there is also Devil.

Devil - the horned guy, the one that propagates all of EVIL. What if each one of us is indeed partly GOD and partly Devil? Each of us having infinite power to do good or bad. You will often hear the wise telling that each of us is born with limitless potential. How we choose to extract the potential is dependent on the choices we make.

For any situation in your life, whether you choose to listen to the Devil or God that lives inside of you , is entirely up to you. However one should at least make an attempt to distinguish these two voices that speak with you almost constantly. A distinction of these two voices will make your decision making rather interesting - in fact what better than having a dialog with these two and then arriving at a conclusion.

I want that you, the reader, to experience the title of this post and share your comments with me either here or on FB :)

The real work starts NOW!

This post is an attempt at understanding the inability that is woven in to us which doesn't allow keeping things together - i.e. when you get things in order but somehow manage to lose it again - specifically in context of relationships.

I finished third season of House Of Cards and it got me thinking about this topic (Pranav - One post on HOC per season - you have to give me this concession at least, buddy boy!). Lets see how this attempt turns out:

Note: This post contains some spoilers for House Of Cards Season-3 so here is your chance to back off. In case you are in process of watching Season-3 or plan to watch it, you may want to stop reading this post and I mean STOP NOW!

Major Spoiler: Claire has left Frank and the White House at the end of Season-3. 

There, I said it!

The unthinkable has happened - what I considered as the ideal marriage - one of the 'flavors of perfect partnership' seems to have broken (I can bet that its a temporary breakdown). Claire chose to overlook how much Frank valued her and instead focused only herself - she felt she was not getting anything out of the marriage. In reality she messed up her affairs as Ambassador to UN. She just did not show the ability to keep it together anymore. Frank, on the other hand, was always supportive and went on a limb even though it caused him to face wrath from his party men and rivals alike. Frank never lost sight of what they could accomplish but Clair chose to lose her way. I say 'chose to' rather than 'lost her way' because the decision to leave Frank does not seems to have been taken in rage. I do hope Claire comes back to her senses and reunites with Frank in Season-4.

Lets take a step back and look at how the story has developed:

Season-1 and Season-2 were all about Frank and Claire working towards getting into the White House. They devoted themselves completely towards that endeavor - they complemented each other. It seemed as if their being together was the most powerful union in the whole of universe - a bond that was unshakable and something that already withstood the test of time. They worked relentlessly together towards their plan and executed it meticulously and with ruthless pragmatism. Hell, Frank even committed two murders in the process. During their journey they did have some differences but they always sorted it to achieve the 'greater good', as Frank puts it.

Season-3 focused on Frank's life as POTUS (President Of The United States) and Claire's as FLOTUS (First Lady Of The United States). The season gave insight into how life is for both - now that they have climbed the mountain and there is no where higher to ascend - and how they deal with the stresses of White House. Frank's incompetence as President is shown by his low approval ratings. Frank has his hands tied by the Congress - it won't allow him the latitude he desires. Republicans and Democrats unite against him and he is shown to withdraw some key legislation that he had intended to pass through the house. Whether he was right in pushing those forward is not the topic of this post.

Season-3 also focused heavily on Claire's ambitions - she makes it clear at the onset that she wanted a meatier role in the affairs. Even in Season-2, she mentions to her former lover that she wants to be significant. Frank acknowledges this and ensures that Claire be given a free hand to pursue whatever she wants. Claire opts for taking up being ambassador to UN and working alongside the Secretary of State. While Frank advises her against taking up the position - he ultimately yields to her desire.

The dynamics of Claire's working environment keep changing and it quickly exposes her inadequacy and incompetence in dealing with foreign affairs. Furthermore, adding to Frank's frustration is the moment when Claire ends up being the cause of failed negotiation with the President of Russia - wasting of months of effort by Frank's administration. Frank faces challenges at home and abroad - Claire works to the best of her capacity in finding resolution to challenges from abroad but clearly that was not enough.

Towards the end of season, Frank is forced to ask Claire to resign from ambassadorship and instead help him in campaigning for next presidential election. This is the key moment when Claire feels that she is just being used by Frank. She begins to believe and that she never really had much power even though she is married to the most powerful man in the world. She starts questioning on what is in it for her. She starts focusing on herself and in the process, loses sight of their potential to leave behind a legacy. She ultimately self-destructs and much to Frank's disappointment, ends up leaving him and the White House.

Frank and Claire achieved what they had set out for. The chase was over at the end of Season-2. It then required a different mindset and approach to keep things together and build a legacy - which is what Frank wanted for them. Claire, on the other hand, had her own ambitions. She wanted to capitalize on Frank's presidency but lacked the vision and faith to just hang in there when things were not going her way.

The way Season-3 ended was very shocking. It posed some questions for me: what the hell just happened? How could this bond break? Everything was perfect - they achieved what they wanted but still how could this happen?

As I started thinking more - it occurred to me that probably most of us do not realize that once we have achieved what we were striving for, we tend to become complacent. We tend to get relaxed and often tell to ourselves 'ok buddy... we need some rest now'. And in the process we just sit back and marvel at our accomplishment.

The high-performers distinguish themselves in this area - they know that the real work has started now - especially after having gotten their goal. They do not lose the momentum and instead focusing on next goal. One of my favorite quotes from Harvey Specter (Suits):

The lesser mortals (so to speak) do the exact opposite of the high-performers and tend to relax and in the process they lose the momentum they once built. The tendency to get relaxed is a curse that most of us suffer from - its something that is so fundamental to our Deoxyribonucleic Acid a.k.a DNA that we cannot do anything about it unless we exercise our will to fight it off.

It is certainly not easy and many people fall prey to the complacency and end up losing their way, underachieving than what they are capable of and more importantly fail to keep things together - that they have achieved.

Is this behavior also applicable to the way we approach relationships? 

I think the answer is "YES". In relationships as well, especially the ones that fall out of the set of 'blood relations', it requires a conscious working (and may be a correction in course from time to time) to ensure that we do not lose sight of the end-goal. Many of us indeed work towards it subconsciously but every once in a while, it surely helps to take a step back and see where things are headed. Every once in a while, it will help to ask this question to ourselves 'Are we taking the other person for granted?", "Are we at a place where we want to be, for time immortal?", "Is there a scope to improve?", "Are we still aligned to one another?".

With my limited understanding about human behavior, I certainly don't have the exhaustive set of questions that need to be asked to oneself. However an awareness about the complacency, a realization of this fact, will at least be a starting point.

In my prior posts, I have sung praises about the Underwoods and how I find them really special, how much I am in awe of the chemistry between Frank and Claire. The eternal optimist in me sees the end of Season-3 as a temporary misalignment that can be fixed. I am sure there are many more who want to see Frank and Claire get back together!

OK mate.. It's Hammer time!

Approaching life situations like a F1 Qualifying Lap: 

I am an avid fan of Formula 1 racing. Some of my friends do ask me from time to time on what is so special about it? 'Tel fukaai' (meaning useless burning of fuel) is what a very dear friend calls it to be :) Well, yes these cars need lot of fuel. Others ask me  'hmm... what is the fun in watching cars go around in circles?'. To this question, I imagine myself shouting some swear words in response but in reality I just smile and politely say 'Oh.. there is a lot more to it. You will get it once you start watching' :)

There are lot of things I have observed in F1 and continue to do so - there are lot of things that fascinate as well as inspire me:

Formula 1 is a team sport. It is all about striving for perfection and maximizing performance. Small things matter, period! And I have seen no other sport where the focus is on everyone within the team to perform to the limit. Its not just the Driver but all the mechanics, engineers, pit-crew and strategists. What you see on the outside is just one person driving the car but there is a huge body of work that is performed before the car is brought out to the track.

Rather than dwell into details of preparation - let us stay in context of the title of this post. Let's focus on the race weekend. The Teams arrive at the venue by Wednesday or Thursday. They assemble the car and put it out on track on friday for something called as 'Practice 1'. That's when the driver puts in lots of laps with the car. The team tries out lot of different configurations on the car eg they adjust the angle of front and rear-wings. They also adjust the height of floor, front and rear suspensions, gear-ratios and many more things and gather lots of data about how the car is behaving. They then do two more such sessions to gather more data and analyze it to figure out the most optimal settings for the car and get it ready for Qualifying Session for Saturday.

F1 Qualifying Session is the critical stage that pretty much sets the scene for the race. The drivers get to take their car around the circuit within a specified time period and clock fastest lap that they can. The fastest guy gets to start the race on Sunday at first position (also called as P1), the second-fastest at P2 so on and so forth.

The Drivers need to put in everything for getting the perfect time in any Qualifying session. If you have ever tried running a timed-lap on a computer/video/ps2/xbox game, you will know that every small thing matters - the racing line, braking at the corners, gear shifts at right time etc.

The drivers receive lot of psychological training to deal with stress and yet maintain focus. Among other things they are trained to shut-out everyone and everything whenever they want to. For some drivers, the trigger to shut out the noise is when the seat-belt is fastened - they train their mind to respond to the 'click' noise and as soon as they hear it, they get in 'race-mode' and are not distracted by anything anymore.

Above was a small insight into Formula 1 Qualifying. At this point, let us now jump to our lives and the situations that we deal with. Just like in Formula 1 Qualifying, our ability to succeed in real-life depends on lot of seemingly small things that most of us conveniently choose to ignore. The list of 'small things' is unique from one situation to the other and is not the topic for this post.

F1 drivers approach the qualifying lap as if that is the only chance that they will ever get to make it right. Do you approach your matters with that attitude as well - 'its either now or never'? Wouldn't it make things more exciting if we were to do that? I think it will and it does too. Spend some time thinking over this.

Going with 'its either now or never' has its challenges too. How to handle when things do not go to our liking? Well, since we are comparing with F1, lets see how do the drivers handle when they happen to make a mistake. Whenever the driver makes a mistake e.g. he overshoots the braking point or locks up wheel while braking, his engineer would immediately come on radio and say something like 'OK <drive name>, we are going to give it one more try' and then possibly calls him to the pit to tweak the car and put it back on track for one more attempt of driving flat-out. The drivers go to the track again in 'its either now or never' mode and give it everything that they have.

Just like F1 drivers, all of us also have our 'race-engineer'. For F1 drivers, the race-engineer sits on the pit-wall where as for us, he sits inside our head :). Our 'race-engineer' is the voice that helps us put back on track when we are feeling down - especially when we have put in 100% into something, when we have gone ALL IN but we don't get the desired outcome.

For situations in my life where I go ALL IN and put in everything but still face disappointment, my 'race-engineer' usually tells me 'OK Gaurav, return to the pit please. We will give it one more go... We will give it one more go' and after making the tweaks he then tells me 'Alright mate... its hammer time... you are GO for this lap'. I listen to my 'race-engineer' and subsequently make one more attempt. Sometimes, though, my race-engineer also advises 'sorry mate, we need to abort this - there are far too many problems - we cannot continue'.Knowing when to give-up is also as important and your race-engineer will advise you suitably - listen to him! :)

Are these attitudes of  'its either now or never' and going 'ALL IN', healthy choices? Don't they add up more stress? Well, certainly not all situations demand this mode. But for the ones that do, my 'race-engineer' makes life very exciting to live :)

I will end this post by quoting the most famous radio message from F1 2015 Season:

OK Lewis... it's hammer time!

A conversation about Frank and Claire Underwood

Well... contrary to what I thought - a very close friend of mine was really upset at me going ga ga about Frank and Claire Underwood. In case you are wondering who are Frank and Claire - they happen to be fictional characters from a political thriller TV Series 'House of Cards'

He read my earlier blog (We love you, Mrs Underwood, more than Sharks love blood!) - got curious enough to start watching House Of Cards and finished Season-1.Though he is impressed with the series and now hooked onto watching Season-2, he seemed upset with fact that I like Frank and Claire.

This is how one of our conversations went...

Me: So... what do you think of Frank and Claire?

He: Dude... I don't like them at all!

Me: *shocked* But why?

He: Well, what is there to like about them?

Me: You got to be kidding me! Don't you see - its a really evolved form of relationship. They both are aligned at the core - yet retain their individuality. They accept and embrace each others dark sides completely.

He: I think its not so much acceptance as it is a business-partnership. They don't have any love for each other - they are together just because of greed for power.

Me: No.. I think you missed the point. Yes, there is element of sharing common goals but that's not what defines their relationship.

He: OK probably I missed the point - care to elaborate why you think of their relationship as 'godly'? I know its exaggeration but the way you are going ga ga about it.. man!

Me: Well.... two words to describe it 'ruthless pragmatism'. This is what they both practice at their work and you see these elements at play in their relationship as well.

He: Dude.. who in this world will be OK to see his wife betraying him and going to a former lover for few days. To top it all, he accepts when she joins him back. Likewise which wife would allow the husband to sleep around with a woman just because it will help him for his grand plans.

Me: Ah I see... so you are judging them based on your moral standards.

He: Yes I have to. Wouldn't you?

Me: Yes and No. But the moment you start judging, you will miss out on things because you would have willingly chosen to ignore since it did not fit in your value system. Go beyond your reasons of right/wrong, moral/immoral and you will discover there is something special in this case.

He: I don't understand what you are saying.

Me: Ok.. I will simplify. Regarding sleeping around, of course no normal person would accept it.

He: Thank you.. there you go! *Proud grin*

Me: *Smiles* Wait.. I am not finished yet :)

No normal person would accept it but then Underwoods are special. In the grand scheme of things they both trust each other and have mutual respect. Having a good amount of respect for the other is what allows them to make concessions. Blend this respect with a flavor of acknowledging that everyone has a dark side. Now embrace this fact completely and bingo... what do we have?

He: Dude thats way too twisted depiction of life. I don't think it is ideal. Secondly it is not possible in real world.

Me: I never said that that is the ideal model. I find it really intriguing and I am highly impressed with what they share. Possible or not in real world - I do not know. But I love them.

He: Yes... I think you have made that point very clear!

Me: Dude.. Most in your friend-circle are married.. yes?

He: Yes.. and? Don't tell me you want to say how miserable they are.

Me: No No.. certainly not. Their are some really beautiful marriages I know of and consider myself fortunate to be have those people in my life... you know.. I have seen many flavors of how a perfect partnership works.

He: 'Flavors of perfect partnership'... dude its not an ice-cream! :) Anyways... coming to the discussion - you never know whats underneath the seemingly happy couples though... do you?

Me: Yes, of course. You know what... it just occurred to me that we have a interesting topic for next time, 'Flavors of perfect partnership'.. lol :)

I think we have discussed enough about Mrs Underwood today.

He: Yes it seems like we have. Anyways... to summarize - I still maintain my stand - Frank and Claire are together just because of their agenda of obtaining power - there is no love between them - its a very mechanical marriage. Probably I may like them after Season-2... for now I don't.

Me: *Sighs* Alright... let us agree to disagree till then.

And so ended the conversation.

One thing that I noticed - when we are in process of observing things, analyzing, interpreting, taking decisions, judging etc our biases slip-in clandestinely and play a huge role in shaping our decisions. An acknowledgment of this fact will help us be aware that our interpretation of things is definitely not comprehensive but actually it is limited - the limiting conditions being our inherent biases and assumptions to name a few.

We continue to live with our view of the world and take that as a definite and ultimate truth. An awareness of the fact that that is not correct will make us more receptive than what we currently are.

Lastly,

We love you, Mrs Underwood, more than Sharks love blood!

We love you, Mrs Underwood, more than Sharks love blood!

'I love that woman. I love her more than sharks love blood!' 

- a chilling, cold, some might call creepy way in which Francis (Frank) Underwood describes his feelings about his wife, Claire. 

Claire - the icy bitch from House Of Cards. 

I simply love Claire and Frank for the sheer unassuming ease between them. 

Having completed 2 seasons on binge-watching, I am now at a point where I have begin to feel that Frank and Claire symbolize what defines a near-perfect marriage of sorts.** 
**Not to say that this is the only way a marriage should be - but sure as hell it makes a very intruiging couple. 

Claire and Frank symbolize partnership with complex power dynamics. Both are accomplished individuals in their own might. However none could have made it without support from the other. Both have their own interests and agenda and are mindful of those. They compromise on their own interests only when it makes absolute sense to both - there are no emotions involved other than a sense of absolute committment to each other. They both know that each have their own secrets and desires and yet offer unwavering support while fully acknowledging that there is a unknown side to the other person. 

All of this may sound like 'Yeah... big deal... thats just garden-variety'. No... there is a lot more to it. I will try to describe but not sure how good I will be able to. Anyways... here are my two cents: 

First off - lets look at why claire married Frank. She gives an insight while doing one of the creepiest things she has done so far (watch it to find out :) ) to dying former bodyguard of Frank: 
“You know what Francis said to me when he proposed? I remember his exact words. He said, ‘Claire if all you want is happiness, say no. I’m not going to give you a couple of kids and count the days until retirement. I promise you freedom from that. I promise you you’ll never be bored.’". 

An indeed - their marriage is way past the meet-cute thing which goes in some. It is miles away from 'routine'. It much more. It is about a connection that is way deeper. 

Frank values his relationship with Claire too much - Claire is shown as a cold, calculating woman who complements Frank completely. Frank is a power-hungry monger who is out to take revenge for he believes he was cheated. Frank manipulates people, lies, cheats, forges partnerships, pretends to offer supporting shoulder to colleagues - all in the name of achieving his goal. Claire, on the other hand, runs a not-for-profit and is hungry for power too while maintaining her identity. She helps Frank everywhere and in return gets the same support from him. Together they do a tad-fine job of integrating their desires and wants within their marriage. While there is a sense of identity, partnership and respect for each other, there is also a dark side of unpredictability. They both are mindful of that and show respect for each others dark-side as well. 

At the onset of 1st episode of Season-1, Frank encounters a major setback and is angry and furious at himself. He spends the whole day in solitude while Claire keeps trying to contact him (knowing that it promised as a big day for him). When he returns back home, Claire remarks 'We have never avoided each other, Francis! And we cannot avoid each other - not when it is this big!!'. 

Frank apologises to her and promises that he will fix the situation. Claire's response to this caught me by surprise. She says 'If we avoid each other then we are in free-fall' and lastly 'My husband apologises to no one - not even me!'.  

There are two things at play: 
1. 'We have never avoided each other' is not the same as 'We tell each other everything' - there is no burden on either. However since she and Frank are integrated right at the core, his setback also is a setback for her, both personally and professionally. 

2. Her other statement about Frank should not apologize affirms her strength and belief in him and that she would not let Frank feel sorry for the setback and not allow failure as an option. That is Claire being tough! 

They have depicted Claire's dark side (of sorts) and the way the whole situation plays out is quite chilling too. In one instance Claire helps Frank massively while compromising her work. When she asks for his help and Frank declines and instead still presses her to help some more and she gets furious. She doesn't even frown and instead plans for a revenge. She goes all out to sabotage a bill that Frank is lobbying hard to get passed in the Congress - while making it appear that she is doing what Frank has asked her to do. That is cold and calculated. 

Post this act, she disappears from the scene and goes to her former lover for few days. She finds comfort with her lover and avoids Frank - doesn't take his calls and neither respond to his messages. She willfully goes against her stand of 'We never avoid each other'. However it doesnt take her long to realize that she values Frank much more than anyone. She returns back when she senses that he needs her in handling a crisis. 

The deep-rooted understanding, acceptance and fondness for each other is emphasized when they resume their normal lives without any misgivings at all - it is just shown as a simple well-mannered acceptance. 

In one of the initial episodes, Claire returns home from her former lover's hotel room and tells Frank they just had dinner together. Frank's response is just a silent acknowledgement and not a wild-rage as anyone would expect. 

Claire remarks 'He is staying at the Mandarin' and Frank goes 'And you?'. 
She smiles and says 'Of course here!' and leans on his shoulder. 

This exchange shows that Frank has always known about her lover and is open to the idea that the affair might still be on! Neither Frank nor Claire are apologetic of their desires. Instead they are fully aware and accept each other. This may be partly due to mutual fondness and also probably for the fact that the desires are not conflicting to their goals. 

During one of the episodes in second season, someone leaks a story to the press about Claire's affair along with some pictures. The Underwoods are furious and since there is too much at stake for them, they make Claire's lover toe the line. When he protests and shows refusal to cooperate, she openly threatens to 'bury him' if he doesn't comply. Frank emphasizes the point further by saying 'Do not mistake the history you have shared (with Claire) for the slightest understanding of what our marriage is, or how insignificant you are in comparison.'. 

After sorting it out with her former lover, they then plan a revenge against the guy who orchestrated the leak. Frank tells his henchman "I want him obliterated," and Claire chips in saying "More than that. Let's make him suffer!" Frank gets turned on by this and remarks to the audience "I don't know whether to be proud or terrified. Perhaps both!". Their successful marriage is not based on pride and/or terror - it goes more than that.  

At a point in Season-1, Frank begins an affair with a journalist - with clear intent of controlling her. He and Claire have a short conversation on it and Frank concludes by saying 'Whenever you want me to end it'. And Claire responds 'I know, Francis'. The mutual understanding and freedom to indulge is explicit all the while acknowledging that the priority will never shift from each other.

In House of Cards, they have not yet shown any intimate moments between Frank and Claire. The only shade of intimacy is a shared nightly-cigarette where they talk about things ahead.

Indeed, for most of the people, it's difficult to understand what their marriage is! I am simply in awe of the sort of chemistry shown between Frank and Claire and obviously her's is a much complex character than Frank.  

I will just end this post by saying this: 

We love you, Mrs Underwood, more than Sharks love blood!